Friends or Frenemies?!

Recently, there was a quiz published on Essence website, “Friends or Frenemies”. What a interesting question to ask ourselves about our hair? Like our best friends we can be our worst enemy when it comes to how we perceive our hair optimally effecting our own self image and confidence level. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether you are a friend or foe to your natural hair. Simply answer with yes or no.

1. Are you constantly comparing your hair to other peoples hair, making comments like why can’t my hair do that or I wish my hair was more like…?

2. Do you manipulate your hair in order to make look or act a certain way that is unlike its natural texture? (other than regular styling such as chemical treatments texturizer, color, using products with harsh potentially harmful ingredients)

3. Do you talk negatively about others and/or your natural hair?

4. When others compliment your hair are you quick to point out her flaws?

5. Are you opposed to wearing your natural hair out because your afraid it won’t look or act right?


Yes=1 No=2

10-8 points True Friend

You absolutely adore your natural hair and others. You have her best interest at heart. You know if you take care of your self that your taking care of her.

7-6 points Associate/Acquaintance

Your still in the “getting to know you” phase. You like your hair but not sure how she will act outside. Your learning what makes her tick. Stay encourage once you figure out what works and doesn’t you will become the best of friends.

5-0 points Foe Fo Sho

Girl, why don’t you like your natural hair? No really, you need to ask yourself how can I make this relationship work. You may find that your view of your natural is not realistic and dictated from the media and others perception of natural hair. You may need to face facts that you are a frenemy but that you can turn this relationship around with a little work and understanding.


  1. Amen to the 1st comment!

  2. my hair is in transitional of being natural. what can i do because I have a thinning spot, but my hair doesnt last long when curled

  3. I have locs that I love and wouldn't trade them for anything. For all of the natural sisters in transition, just go for it. If you want to win a free t-shirt that will let you walk with pride in your natural hair just for sharing your story, go to and share your style. Looking forward to your comments.

  4. I decided to go natural 4 years ago and now i think it was the BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE...

    Going natural is ONE THING...accepting your hair for what it is and start loving it what is it is another step.

    Many people go natural and still treat their has as if it was straigh hair. They comb it and bross it indefinitly, try to make it flat, pull it, put all kinds of gel to make it look less kinky, iron it...NO WONDER IT DOES NOT LAST LONG !

    I decided to BE the person i am and today, my hair looks beautifull. People stop me in the steets.

    what i do : what my hair at least once a week and detengle it with conditioner IN IT ! Constantly moisturize ! braid it or twist it...or leave it free( spray will olive oil to prevent dryness when free)

    WHAT I DONT DO : NEVER detangle it while its dry ( BIG NO) ! never let it dry free, braid/twist and then let it dry ! AVOID HEAT ! MINIMUM WAX ( miosturize instead)! Dont brush indefinitly (WHY do that ??? that is for white people) a big comb will do for you !

    I Stop suffering with my natural hair when i stop wanting to make it do what it was not design to do ! ThX GOD: the times when i thought i had to spend 3 hours, perming (burning), blowing (pull on my scalf), SUFFERING to look good ARE OVER !

  5. 以簡單的行為愉悅他人的心靈,勝過千人低頭禱告。 ..................................................