have been natural for almost 8 months. I wanted to go natural for years, but honestly, I was scared of how people would look at me. I know it is sad, but I really did think I would look silly with no hair, LOL. But finally, in January 2008, I said F' it & I said I would never get another perm ever...& I didn't. I wanted to go natural b/c I just wanted to be real. I would see women who had natural hair & I couldn't believe how BEAUTIFUL it was. Then I started looking at childhood pictures of myself & I thought, "man, I could have a huge pretty afro if my mama never permed my hair." All I wanted was a big afro! I think being black & having nappy hair is sooooo gorgeous!
So, I did transition. I started transitioning in Feb. 08 & I wore braids for about 5 months. I would just keep it braided in different styles b/c I really couldn't manage it (I hate saying & hearing that, but now I'm good with it. I had to learn how to treat & deal with my hair & it was tough at first, but I never got discouraged.) I didn't use anything but hair grease while transiting, but after becoming natural, I only use raw shea butter, which makes my hair really soft & pretty.
I would describe my natural experience as refreshing. I feel so pretty & so real. Not everyone can do to their hair what I can do with mine & its not even long. Its real nappy & I absolutely love it! LOL But I understand that we are conditioned to believe that nappy hair is bad, but I think that changes at least just a lil bit every time someone tells me how pretty my hair is. I think other black women & black girls can look at me and see that there is nothing wrong with the hair that God gave us.
Almost everyone I know didn't take me going natural well, but I didn't care. My family said absolutely nothing...one of my uncles even said to me "where is all your pretty hair?" I pointed to my head & said, "its right here!" My dad didn't like it & said gay girls would be after me. (so stupid!) My mother said it was cute & my boyfriend said he was proud of me because he didn't know anyone who would actually cut all their hair off...it was a bold move. Being a good boyfriend J He said I looked beautiful & that he was happy for me.
When I got my "Big Chop," I immediately took a picture & put it up on FB the same day. Most of my friends that commented said "whats wrong with you, & "what nigga done messed over you?" It was sad & it engendered a lot of thoughts in me about our culture & our society...which has MADE me start to write a book. LOL.. I just couldn't/can't believe how conditioned we are how we're taught to hate ourselves. It makes me wonder about black women & who we are in our society, which I am now exploring. Nevertheless, I LOVE my natural nappy hair & Almost Everyone comments on how pretty it is now. I have never felt this pretty because I am 100% natural & I know this is the way God made me; & I know he made me beautiful inside & out. I don't need to buy anything to look good, all I do is wake up! (& sprits some water on my hair & pick it out...LOL)
After the BiG ChOp
Oct. 08 (3 Months after)
Today (Mar. 1, 2009)